Once again, life seems to be throwing health obstacles in my way. I have an appointment with my GP today but know it will quickly escalate to heading me back to my Oncologist and cancer team. I have been battling some serious fatigue issues, upper jaw pain and the blurring in my right eye, the only one I see out of, is getting worse. There appears to be a small tumor forming in that eye. (yep, I am scared to death).
As I fight the symptoms to stay on my feet, ensure I get myself to work, as even one day off will throw my budget severely out of whack, and take care of my two German Shepherds; my worry and fear are beginning to grow. I am a worrier in full worry mode right now and I know it is NOT helping the health issues.
Are you a worrier? We all are to some extent, but some of us are more pessimistic than others, and WE worry; it’s always the worst possible thing that first comes to mind. In battling cancer, in the loss of my beloved husband to alcohol and drug addiction, the alienation from my children, I have learned that worrying is not my friend but it is a great thief of my precious time. I have learned that, in worrying over something, I am NOT doing a dammed thing positive about the problem. In truth, worry simply increases my stress level (not good for the cancer), and sets me off in an escalating spiral that can ruin an entire day – not only for myself but for those around me.
Now, when I find myself fretting over an issue, instead of working myself into an absolute frenzy, I stop, whisper a prayer, and count my blessings in so many other areas of my life. I have learned that simply to ask a blessing upon my circumstances, whatever they are, somehow improves them. As Marjorie Holmes writes “ I came upon one of the most ancient and universal truths – that to affirm and claim God’s help even before it is given, is to receive it.”
So today, as I battle these health issues, I will life those worries and ask for grace to get through the rest of the day. I know that there is an abundance of amazing grace available to all of us is we simply learn to ask for it.
“Desire, Ask, Believe, Receive”, says the mystic Stella Terrill. Begin by praying or conversing with your higher power in that order and you will understand why.
After praying about your worries, is there a friend you can share your problem with? A good friend who will not pass judgment or try to fix everything? If not, sit down quietly and write out what’s troubling you. Write out what the worst case scenario, your greatest fear, your coping mechanism etc. If you don’t have an answer for any of these things than write out “I don’t know.” It’s okay NOT to have the answers. Mark Twain admitted, near the end of his life; “I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
Difficult times have tuaght me how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way and that so many things that most os uf worry about really are of no importance whatsoever.
Worrying about the future robs all of us of the present moment. Try to observe how much worrying you do and if the nagging worry follows you relentlessly throughout the day than follow Scarlet O’Hara’s example (lead character in Gone With The Wind) and simply tell yourself “I’m not going ot think about this right now, I’ll think about this tomorrow.”
After all, tomorrow is always a day away. Right now, I have this precious gift of today. May it be wonder-filled!
