May God
bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young.
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young.
Today, my oldest son, Douglas
Pike, will celebrate his 40th birthday. I cant quite wrap my head around
this distinction. When did he get so much older? I don’t remember growing older… when did
he? For me this has become a real
admission ticket into the world of being considered a senior citizen.
For the first
time I feel the impact of the passage of time because of my first born’s birthday.
I think the reason for this feeling is, first, that I so greatly remember
the day I told my husband we were expecting.
Both of us still so terribly young, me not yet 20 and Doug had not yet
turned 23. We were so excited and scared to death both at the same time.
Douglas was my dreamed of start of the family I so longed for and of course
Doug REALLY wanted a boy. We did not do
testing at all to know the sex of our children but I knew I was caring a son…
our golden child. How I loved decorating
his room and eventually buying a crib set that was the exact replica of the
Queen Mary’s Captains quarters. Such
precious days gone by far too quickly.
I also vividly remember being 40.
I remember my thoughts and my dreams. I remember our family life
and what we did and where we were heading (sometime with great sorrow and fear).
I think I remember all of this with such joy because I enjoyed that time
of my life so thoroughly. It was a time of lovely innocence for us all.
So when I reflect back on my son’s 40th birthday, I can’t believe the
years have run through my fingers like water when you scoop it for a drink.
My son is 40 today! Wow!
But the word “Forty” truly is inaccurate because it doesn't stand alone.
Forty is 39 and 28 and 24 and 16 and 10 and 4 and 6 months, and 5 minutes old; every
age a person was – not simply the sum of its parts but every one of
its parts.
Forty is the infant, the child, the teenager, the young adult, the new husband, the dreamer, standing side by side. It's the toddler, the Cub Scout, the high school freshman, army recruit.
But you look in a mirror and, with human eyes, see only what is now. One moment. One person. You don't see, because people aren't like Russian nesting dolls, all the people who are inside the 40-year-old.
But my heart still sees. My heart sees Douglas, in his first blue suit bought her when him when was 1; on an Easter Sunday morning, squinting into the sun; I see him climbing the school bus in his expensive brown leather boots (Buster Browns) that cost so much his dad and I ate eggs for three weeks to pay for them; hugging his cat, Bandit; walking across the lawn on his first day of high school; storming up the steps because I wouldn't let her do something; dressing for his Junior High Prom (he was voted King that night and actually had helped to put the whole thing on); dressing for his wedding where I was not only mother of the groom but Matron of Honor
Yes, my heart sees then and now and everything in between.
His father's heart saw, too. He saw Douglas on the bike I taught him to ride and behind the wheel of the car he taught Doug to drive. He saw him off to his trip to boot camp and cried all the way home.
Forty is the infant, the child, the teenager, the young adult, the new husband, the dreamer, standing side by side. It's the toddler, the Cub Scout, the high school freshman, army recruit.
But you look in a mirror and, with human eyes, see only what is now. One moment. One person. You don't see, because people aren't like Russian nesting dolls, all the people who are inside the 40-year-old.
But my heart still sees. My heart sees Douglas, in his first blue suit bought her when him when was 1; on an Easter Sunday morning, squinting into the sun; I see him climbing the school bus in his expensive brown leather boots (Buster Browns) that cost so much his dad and I ate eggs for three weeks to pay for them; hugging his cat, Bandit; walking across the lawn on his first day of high school; storming up the steps because I wouldn't let her do something; dressing for his Junior High Prom (he was voted King that night and actually had helped to put the whole thing on); dressing for his wedding where I was not only mother of the groom but Matron of Honor
Yes, my heart sees then and now and everything in between.
His father's heart saw, too. He saw Douglas on the bike I taught him to ride and behind the wheel of the car he taught Doug to drive. He saw him off to his trip to boot camp and cried all the way home.
Yes, I still see him as child more often
than I see him as an adult. Oh no, I am not stunned by my son’s age. I look in
the rearview mirror and see all he has been. I look at him now and see all that
he is. And I think 40 is good. It has all been good.
You know, I still call him “little Doug”
and in my mind he will always be my baby boy. But then, like it or not, I am his Mom and I
am allowed to call him anything I want. He is still that precious baby
boy, inquisitive toddler, and bright/gifted little boy to me. He always will
be.
Happy Birthday, “little Doug”! I
love you with all my heart. Your Dad is looking down on your as well today from
Heaven and I know he is beaming with joy and love. You were and will always be so very precious
to him and to me.
I love you son… More than you will ever
know.
