An Open Letter About Cancer and Life.

Dear Readers, Friends and Family:

Many of you have been at my side these past few months as I began a new fight in earnest against cancer... I think I am growing weary of the fight now though. Some know the truth of how ill I have been despite my best efforts to hide it. ( I was unable to travel or hike much this fall and winter) However, it is now impossible for me to hide it and even my place of work is now involved with my physicians. :( Tricare, for the first time in the 33 years I have been using it, has changed policies so they have been giving Drs a very hard time but they are all good people and have pushed through everything. So... May 24, 2011, I was sent to the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix.

The Mayo clinic is taking over everything as of My 24. They ran additional biopsies and pathology on me yesterday and there is no doubt that cancer is in the remaining thyroid and growing. Surgery is scheduled for July 1, 2011 (they had wanted it sooner but first I have to see a few more specialists,(they will definitely be running the PET scan as well despite Tricares initial refusal) and the three day vacation period will hopefully allow me to heal sufficiently so I don’t have to be off work… I spoke with Diane **** (HR specialist at ACS) and Amanda **** who keeps track of our vacation time and I have almost no vacation time left (already in the negative with all of the Drs appts and tests and only 13 more vacation hours and up to 12 sick hour left until July 1) and am trying to build a few sick days now so other time down will be without pay and after that 9 months of unemployment a couple of years back, there is nothing to fall back on . The Dr told me they would require two weeks recoup minimum. but there is no way I can do that. I have given away far too much of me and my things, and lost what else little I had. I don't want to lose my little rented townhome, my car or the little things I cherish so. I am tough as most know, and the first time they removed cancer from my throat, I left the hospital in 24 hours. But the body has taken a vicious beating since 2006 with breast, colon, skin, blood and throat cancer and other health problems which keep knocking me down. I will give it one damned good try though.

This surgery will NOT be easy and there is already a great deal of damage done to my vocal chords due to the prior surgery as well as to the current growth. Sadly,this Doctor also believes that I may have metastases from the breast cancer into the lungs and larnyx as well and cutting into me increases the risk that it will spread like wildfire. However, even if the Pet Scan proves it true that cancer has invaded the lungs and throat, we have no choice but to remove the growth in my throat as it is effecting my ability to eat and eventually breathe. I have begun spitting up blood as well, so time is not on my side.

Due to the already present scar tissue the chance of my losing my voice is vastly increased as is the chance of losing the para thyroids which will raise havoc with my calcium and other levels I think I am tired of cancer and surgery and doctors but I still love to see the sun rise and set and wish upon a star.

I also think my poetry reading days may behind me… at least I got three book signings of Shadows of Love in before this happened L. Definitely we know that my singing/lullabye days are gone, but that is okay as my children and my Jessie bear no longer need to hear those anyway...

Over the next three weeks, beginning on June 10, I will have to be at the Mayo clinic to see additional specialists (Cardiologist, Hematologist, Otolaryingologist and a speech pathologist)…They are assiging me a new oncologist. This hospital/clinic is imposing to me... Drs and interns wear Armani suits... check in points all over the place. It scares me. It is a long way to go (Loop 101 and 56th) but this is where they want me to be as so very much is going wrong at once. I somehow don't feel quite human when I enter those doors, just a bunch of symptoms and a patient number. I also feel that this is where they send you when things have grown desperate and wonder if I will walk out in July.

Currenntly, I am trying to line up friends now to help me get out there as currently they want to restrict my driving only to work and the store and back. Yesterday, while driving to work, I honestly did not know where I was until I crossed over the Kyrene railroad tracks on the way to work… Per the doctors, the tumor on the thyroid is creating endocrine problems that make me fuzzy at times in addition to effecting weight, breathing, heart and ability to eat. I am unable to hike or do much for any prolonged period and I tire so quickly.

James Bosworth, a dear sweet friend, got me to the clinic on May 24th and stood by me as the news hit home L I had hoped not to hear any of this. I cannot thank him enough for being my rock. My oldest son Douglas had been in communication with me for a little while and I know he is there... that helps. My son in law stopped in to gather some of my Jessie bears things, (I had so hoped to teach her to use that sewing machine I gave her and to travel more with her) andd hegave me a bear hug and told me not ot lose hope, and made me smile (but dear Robbie, seeing yet a little more of her taken away from me broke me and I have now given up hope. For now, these are the things I lean on; my friends, my memories, and my faith.

My Primary Surgeons name at the Mayo Clinic is Richard T Schlinkert. He is an Endocrine and Gastroinestinal Surgeon and a professor of surgery at the college of medicine… 5777 East Mayo Blvd Phoenix AZ 85054. He is thorough, very nice and I think I am in the best of hands… I am just scared and worn down and, in truth, inconsolable right now. If it did not hurt so much I would break down in to screams and tears. Dr. Christine Rosengren will continue to be my close back up here in Mesa. Phoenix seems so far away. My neighbor Alex has agreed to take the girls (Merriweather and Angel Heart) if I cannot care for them any more. I will not be able to drive for at least a week once I am released and they anticipate speech and breathing difficulties for up to three months. They are assigning me a speech pathologist in Scottsdale whom I see on June 17. This frightens me even more as it shows how great the chances of my never speaking again are.

My friend Jewel has offered to help with getting me to work (I will HAVE to go back whether Docs say it is okay or not).. and to some of the appointments down at Mayo. James Bosworth has also offered to be here when I need him but sweet man is also not feeling well. Getting old sucks ya know it? LOL Dan Greenberg, with all he has going on in his life with poor Karen being quite ill too, even offered to take me to Tucson if that became necessary... thankfully it isn't although the Mayo Clinic seems almost as far away... so far away from my dogs and home. :(

I have updated my Living Will and my DNR and will be putting them on file with the Mayo clinic/hospital as well. My neighbor Karen Greenbert witnessed the signing of my Power of Attorney and my Medical Power of attorney and all arrangements are made should things go south. I am meeting with a Navy Legal representative to make sure my legal affairs are in order (one of the so called perks I still get is them preparing my will etc)… and all my ducks are in a row. I will truly have nothing much to leave behind but memories... I hope most of them have been good ones for all of you. My intent is NOT to leave just yet as there is much I long to see and do... So, No, I am not being morbid, just pragmatic; something the older people who raised me taught me to do.

My hope, for now, is to finish these last two books (one of poetry and one of short stories and poetry (I write almost constantly now when not at work)... with the one poetry book being called Dancing with the Spirits of Shadowplay (the title should tell you I intend for it to be my last published book)... and my other... well, that will be under an assumed name but I have had fun writing and reasearchng it... and watch, it will be the money maker, well it worked for Anne Rice didn't it? ).

Dreams? I would love to have my children and grandchildren over to play and have dinner and hold them each once more. I have heard of the lies being perpetrated and know that when they truly search their hearts they will know the reality. At any rate, truth and reality will eventually win out and come out and I hope it does before time says no more.

I would like to have a party with my neighbors and friends both near and far... cook out, drink, swim and reminisce... I find myself looking back a great deal these days. Such again is the way of growing older.

There are friends I long to hold and say thank you too.

There are things I still have not done, like sky dive from a plane, learn to play the guitar and native american flute, take ballroom dancing again, and see Chaco Canyon in New Mexico and Yosemitee National Park. (Then too there is always Scottland; I so longed to see Scottland)

So... weary though I may be, the fight is on. I still have some angels watching over me.

In the mean time, know that I love you… keep me in your prayers and hearts. I will need prayer and love to see me through... Know that you are always in mine.


God Bless!

Against Her Will

AGAINST HER WILL

The family is dying
against her will
leaving angry survivors bickering
picking over
inheritances of loyalty owed
because "I did this but You did not do that"
and broken people and small children
become weapons
in a war to settle
puerile competitions
misread ignorance
and entitlement issues.
Memories have been sold,
red flags fluttering
a past full of "US" "THEM
and love broken into so called
necessary "individuality"
which means nothing more then
"I am important and you are not".:
A warm family history traded for one person’s
happiness,
another’s cherished spite.
And not so silently
her longed for children walk away,
from her;
eventually from each other;
sadly from themselves
like organs transplanted
leaving a shell
of a family now lifeless.
And there is nothing she can do
to stop it,
but say "I will love you always..."
and wish them well

FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE... THE MOST IMPORTANT OF THESE IS LOVE

When we bring our love into everything that we do, we have the power to change all that is. Just as one small stone can spread ripples through an entire body of water, so too can love send a ripple out that will be felt by the Universe. We do not need to demonstrate a grand act of sacrifice in order to make a difference; just the smallest seed of love will do, For that seed will give birth to more seeds, which will give birth to yet more seeds.

What kind of seed are we talking about, you ask?

Well, lets see, we could start by sending a genuine smile to the stranger on the street. Or how about sending a note of gratitude and appreciation to a friend for no reason except they are your friend; they exist? Or how about the simple fact that every time we do the dishes, if we bring mindfulness and loving attention to each dish, each washing, each rinse, then too we are planting a seed. We are expressing all the love which we are through that one simple task.

Every time we take out the trash (even when our mates, children or spouses refuse to do it), we might silently give thanks for all the goods, services, and blessings we received from each discarded item before it became trash. We might give thanks to all the people who were a part of making those goods and services. Yes, we give thanks for trash because we have it to throw away... it is a loving task.

When we receive a telephone call from a wrong number or a sales person we don't want to talk to, we might honor and bless them and end the call politely with dignity and respect. For we know that they, too, are sojourners on this path of life, that they a part of us.

Do you know that you sow a seed of love every time you put your physical surroundings in impeccable order. For it does not matter if we live in a palace or one room, it is what we make of our space that determines the quality of our living there.

When we are spending time with a loved one and they have something to communicate to us, we might give them our full attention and look them in the eye and not be interrupted by the television, the video game, or thoughts of work.. We might take as many opportunities as possible to look into the heart and soul of each person we interact with for tomorrow is never guaranteed and it may be the last time we see them, hold them, hear their voice.

Nor should we forget those other magnificent opportunities to express the love within us; such as creating a meal, working at our desk or office, doing the laundry, playing with play dough, paying our bills, walking the dog, tucking a sleepy child into bed, holding the hand of a sick loved one, and so on.

All daily routines can become an immense experience of our own divinity when we make it sacred and give freely in unconditional love. We need not run (SHOULD NOT RUN) from the mundane cares of life to find truth and inner peace. We need not seek out an ashram, a guru, or a burning bush to find the answers or purpose of life. We each have the answer within and that answer is love...

The Candle of Life (for my upcoming new book)

We are the star makers.
Yet, who are we to create the stars?
They flicker and dance in the night,
destructions force,
powerful heat,
penetrating and overcoming the darkness;
Omnipotently
consuming all.
breaking the darkness of the night
with brilliant sequins
no longer really there.

The stars,
seemingly endless,
but most are already illusion,
Perception of the infinite unknown.
Immortal numbers of provinces
this mortal planet has never dreamed of.
Opportunities of life,
technology,
and beauty
only in imagination,
Which is why I love them so much.
Other minds, perceptions, religions,
perhaps the truth.
Giant stars,
and tracking of lights
to the long-since past,
but still alive in my eyes.

Doug's beloved ocean,
as endless as the universe.
The depths are inspiring,
and swimming is flying.
Powerful as fire
And just as beautiful.


Rain,
just saying it brings a smile.
Rolling down
soaking the body,
A sweet moment of life,
especially if shared
Feeling the kiss of the sky on your soul,
feeling its power,
yet gentleness.

Wind, earth's touch on your skin.
Play-fighting with the earth,
pushing you back
And walking foreword,
blocking the challenging wind.
Other times, loving,
a breeze to cool you,
redden your cheeks,
and to blow your hair playfully.

Storms,
a dance of energy.
Large drums make your insides tremble
with exhilaration and excitement,
power.
The light dances too fast in the sky,
Simply a mesmerizing magnificence.

Music,
one of the best inventions,
or is it instinct?
Birds make music,
the rain,
the fire,
the sea,
all natural musicians.
From voice
to instruments
to nature.
Human emotion filling your heart
to the point of breaking.

A painting,
a jumbled mess of good and bad,
Colors mixed,
emotions changing.

The candles blown out one by one,
The scent thickens,
flickers to a spiked,
colorful flame.
A pool of liquid beneath
as the smoke swirls upward to the stars.
The wick an acute glowing orange,
A last attempt to clasp onto life.

My breath whispering toward it
and grasping it
for a moment
Before diminishing the beauty
called life.

The Candle of Life

THE CANYON'S FIRE

A POEM FOR MY NEW BOOK



The vault of dreams displayed beneath me
as a reflection,
I was standing in the sky.
I walked further,
and stared into the looking glass below me.
It was pure enough to see the depths in the daylight.
Darkness reigned at that moment,
with only the sprinkles of glitter as its guide.
The waves flowed gently beneath me at the floor.
I closed my eyes and imagined myself there
forever.

I listened to the gentle thunder.
The Colorado river makes beautiful music
if you listen close enough,
with your heart, mind and soul.
The sounds are mesmerizing,
a rhythm beating against the canyon walls.
It was as if each wave shook hands with the earth,
meeting again after their rebirths.
The wind guided it there.
No words can capture its eminence
or its magnificence.
I only know that the universe has its own symphony,
but maybe silence, too, is the music.
The precious pause of poetic
conviction.

I went out a little further on the precipice;
it was harder to stay balanced.
My ears seized the sound of the water.
I was motionless on the moon,
the stars beside me.
They were my brothers and sisters,
enclosing me,
protecting me.
A tear fell down my cheek.
My eyes awakened,
blue sapphires opening wide to a new experience,
glowing in the moons light.
They were sheltered by long lashes,
batting playfully in confusion.
Happy and crying.
I was releasing water;
my hand cupped the liquid that was rapidly moving past me,
rushing to meet the earth with a swift sound and a crash.
I let the tear fall into my hand
and gently dropped it down
to where it belonged.

"For you".
I told the river,
as well as the stars.
For the stars,
I believe,
have some relationship with tears.
Now,
they had a part of me as well.
What wonders you both hold.
Suppressing secrets against the inquisitive,
who only wish to be a part of you.
"Will you not tell me your secrets?"”

The morning was near
and the sun exploded with a fire
bouncing off the canyon walls
and went down
to dance with the water.

I wish to die in this canyon's fire.

New Designs at shadowsoflove.com

Shadows of Love: The on line store has a brand new design. Please don't forget to fill out your contest form to be eligible for a free gift from the online store at shadowsoflove.com. New drawing will be held May 31, 2011. Good luck and Happy Reading

For my children

I love you always no matter what...

http://youtu.be/FhNrrrCCTdA

The Balloon (new poem for a new book)

The Balloon

In a dream I was on a bare stage somewhere, hot under blue gels,
and the dance Mistress wanted to make sure I was strong.

Instead of admitting ankle-sprain, or crushed toes,
I retied ribbons on my practice point shoes and stretched hamstrings to the breaking at the bar.

She commanded me to do a plie; then pressing her hand in the small of my back, another.
No arch, she said, flatten it.

No longer fourteen or any linear age, I could feel skin-color tights webbing at the crotch, pleating below the knees.
as I remembered how she loathed imperfection.
So did I

Reaching to smooth my tights, she roughly touched my thigh, and said, You're getting fat.
my feet were now bleeding.

Silently, I turned from the bar, stuck a pin in her once, then again, until she began to shrivel, until she popped.

Limping past pools of hot blue light, I found a woman-child
crouching in the wings, arranging animals from Noah's Ark.

She was hanging them from a broom stick two by two,
suspending each pair by their necks with silver chord.

A frayed tutu jutted below her belly and her textured tights sagged at her knees
Looking up, she arched her back
The tummy became flat

And picking a scab from her elbow, she asked me why?
Why I had popped my balloon?

Hold the line...

The law that our thoughts create our experiences is not just a law unto each isolated individual. It is just as applicable to our beliefs as a whole. When individuals begin to create a new, peaceful world, so will the human race, as a whole, create a paradise on Earth. In other words, when we all see that we can have the world we desire just by thinking that we can, it will manifest for us.

And then, there's also the icing on the cake. It can happen fast. It can happen in our lifetimes. We need not think that we are just making things better for future generations. We are also making things better for ourselves. It can start with the smallest spark, and, as quick as a wink, it can spread around the entire globe.

It only takes for each of us to start to see everyone else in their highest light ... even the international bankers and power brokers who have used deceit and fear and all things horrid in order to maintain control over us. We so often forget that each man, no matter how bad we think he is, does indeed, without exception, have a shining Spirit deep down inside. To remember this and to act accordingly is the challenge of mankind today. For some reason - perhaps the desire of some to dominate others - we have overlooked our ability to see the good side of every man. We don't notice him in his highest light. We don't see him standing up for the Highest Good. And if we don't see him standing up for the Highest Good, he won't. He'll continue to ride roughshod over us as he pleases. But it is when we begin to see every man, even our enemies whom we have called "the bad guys" in the past, as standing up for the Highest Good, they will sooner or later reflect our expectations of them and step into their highest calling.

There is something deep within our inner nature that is called up when we are confronted by a man of principle, a man who speaks directly yet gently into the face of his friends and enemies alike, and doesn't back down. Something special happens in the psyche of the "bad guy" when he is confronted by someone who sets a noble example. It may be subtle at first, but after awhile, it will change him, just as when you keep chipping away large rock - eventually it turns into pebbles ... or a statue of great beauty.

His heart will soften and his mind will recognize the wisdom in becoming one with others. Walls of separation will dissolve as the "bad guy" begins to follow your example and seek for his own highest light inside himself. And when he looks, he will find a world that is better than the one where he spent all his energy trying to control everything and everyone around him. He'll experience a feeling of great joy that was not available to him as long as he persecuted others.

And we'll all be much happier because, from then on, instead of continuing to deal with the challenges of how do we get along with each other, we can all start to work together on the challenges of how do we make our world as good as it can possibly be.

Your beautiful mother ... and you.

It was from the moment you entered my life,
So tiny and helpless and new...
That nothing would ever again be the same,
Only better; for now there was you.

How could I know as I looked at you then,
That old feelings would find a new start?
Or in time you'd remind me of memories long past,
Or how deeply you'd enter my heart?

Just watching you grow was a marvelous sight,
As you toddled and learned how to walk.
Then I watched in amazement as time slipped away,
And like magic, you started to talk.

The touch of your tiny hand clinging to mine,
Formed a bond that would last like no other.
Giving rise to the memories I'd long since forgotten
Of the same things I'd felt for your uncles and mother.

With a certain perception that grandmothers have,
I was always able to see,
The warm summer breezes and the scent of the rose,
That abounded when you were with me.

Just seeing the warmth of the light in your eyes,
And the billowy bounce of your hair,
Confirmed without question, that deep in my heart,
Was a special love so rare.

As time slipped away and you started school,
My adoration just grew...
For you learned all so quickly, each thing that you tried,
Learning much more than I ever knew.

So it is, that I marvel while watching you grow,
Perhaps one day to be a young wife.
Still, long I'll remember those earliest years,
When you lightened and brightened the days of my life.

Though years bring upon us all manner of tune,
The sweetest of songs are unsung...
But these memories for all my yesterdays I'll keep,
For the warmth of their glow keeps me young.

No one can know all the love that I felt,
In the warmth of your tender embrace.
Or the fondest of memories kept with me still,
That the passage of time and cancer can't erase.

A grandmother's love, like a mother's love is forever,
It is patient and caring and true...
And it's mellowed by sharing with two special girls...
Your beautiful mother ... and you.

So I opened my heart, as I opened my arms,
Now whenever is whispered my name...
Know that I'm with you wherever you go...
And so thankful to them, you came.

For My Son and Daughter on Mother's Day

for tiny heartfelt kisses
for granting little wishes

for moon lit nights of endless fun
for water fights in the blazing sun

for reading in our special chair
letting me comb and style your hair

for strawberry milk filled to the top
for run and throw and twirl and hop

for unicorns and royal purple dresses
for snuggling and great big messes

for poetry and singing larks
for healing boo-boos and scaring sharks

for conversations I'd never known
for the shadows of light you've shown

for Dr Seuss; we love to rhyme
for giving me a little of your precious time

for kitties, dogs, snakes and turtles
for forcing me to jump my hurdles

for empathy and kindness true
for soft spirits that come from you

for midnight snacks and peter pan
for jack and sally and boogey man

for deep long gazes; bright blue eyes
for silver clouds and turquoise skies

for all the universe and the stars
for healing all my painful scars

for my daughter and my son, thank you today
for making me mommy, in every way

Comparisons, Complaints, and Enlightenment

Comparisons are irresistible but they are also odious, insidious and very often our self-torture of choice. Comparisons can also be demeaning, not only to those comparing but to those being compared. This is true whether the comparison be about recognition, fame, achievement, or failures, illness, and suffering.

Today, I have been giving great thought to this seeming need of we humans. Why is it that we are always guilty in some way at some time of coveting our neighbors husband, figure, clothes, income, or career. What about our envy or jealousy over others achievements, awards, recognition and fame? Sadly what about when we compare our own suffering against another's because we feel we have suffered more or that another has no right to complain?

Generally it is often only one person whose own blessings or pain has the ability to push our buttons of raging insecurity; we really don't care if most of the world has more then we have or is more ill then we are, we only care that "he/she" has it and the attention that comes with it and NOT us. Often the subject of our hostility is not personally known to us, though the life he/she lives is in print. Other times, they are someone very close to us. Secretly we "stalk" social networks, magazines, newspapers accumulating evidence against their good fortune.. Whether this person be a stranger or your best friend, you insist on measuring your life, success, bank account, and self worth against hers.

Obviously, I could write a book on coveting, jealousy, envy, illness and making oneself miserable with comparison unless I was vaguely familiar with this sin against one's own authenticity. Therefore, for just a moment, follow me in reading one of my favorite poems; a clever, funny spiteful little ode by Clive James:

'The Book of my Enemy Has Been Remaindered'
"The book of my enemy has been remaindered
And I am pleased.
In vast quantities it has been remaindered
Like a van-load of counterfeit that has been seized
And sits in piles in a police warehouse,
My enemy's much-prized effort sits in piles
In the kind of bookshop where remaindering occurs.
Great, square stacks of rejected books and, between them, aisles
One passes down reflecting on life's vanities,
Pausing to remember all those thoughtful reviews
Lavished to no avail upon one's enemy's book --
For behold, here is that book
Among these ranks and banks of duds,
These ponderous and seemingly irreducible cairns
Of complete stiffs.


The book of my enemy has been remaindered
And I rejoice.
It has gone with bowed head like a defeated legion
Beneath the yoke.
What avail him now his awards and prizes,
The praise expended upon his meticulous technique,
His individual new voice?
Knocked into the middle of next week
His brainchild now consorts with the bad buys
The sinker, clinkers, dogs and dregs,
The Edsels of the world of moveable type,
The bummers that no amount of hype could shift,
The unbudgeable turkeys.


Yea, his slim volume with its understated wrapper
Bathes in the blare of the brightly jacketed Hitler's War Machine,
His unmistakably individual new voice
Shares the same scrapyard with a forlorn skyscraper
Of The Kung-Fu Cookbook,
His honesty, proclaimed by himself and believed by others,
His renowned abhorrence of all posturing and pretense,
Is there with Per twee's Promenades and Pierrots--
One Hundred Years of Seaside Entertainment,
And (oh, this above all) his sensibility,
His sensibility and its hair-like filaments,
His delicate, quivering sensibility is now as one
With Barbara Windsor's Book of Boobs,
A volume graced by the descriptive rubric
"My boobs will give everyone hours of fun".


Soon now a book of mine could be remaindered also,
Though not to the monumental extent
In which the chastisement of remaindering has been meted out
To the book of my enemy,
Since in the case of my own book it will be due
To a miscalculated print run, a marketing error--
Nothing to do with merit.
But just supposing that such an event should hold
Some slight element of sadness, it will be offset
By the memory of this sweet moment.
Chill the champagne and polish the crystal goblets!
The book of my enemy has been remaindered
And I am glad."


Feelings of Comparison are never good as this does not lead one of us to enlightenment. We are adults . We all should be bigger than this, shouldn't we? Hmmm..

Well, even if we are not, comparisons hurt each of us in profound ways. They undermine our confidence, shut down our flow of creative energy, shor sircuit our access to a higher Power, deplete our self esteem, suck the life force from our marrow and hinder healing, and prevent u s from giving fully of ourselves as the Creator intended.
Comparisons destroy what is Sacred within. Therefore, instead of comparing yourself to another , why not just take a wet leather strap and beat yourself with it? Or beat the one you are comparing yourself with... It's easier to recover from physical abuse then self inflicted or emotionally psychic brutality.

The Blessings your "nemesis" , friend or neighbor now enjoys can also be yours as soon as you are REALLY ready to receive with an open heart all good fortune created just for you. Conversely, it can also aid you in your own healing if you admit that each person's suffering is equal to our own... as each person's suffering is totally individual.

Therefore, dear reader, bless the people you compare yourself too. Bless them for their happiness, their success and their failures and fears. Once we are each able to do this, we will truly begin to experience the abundance of real life and love.

Blessed be.