My journey has been a long one… sometimes hard…. But oh so very very blessed.
In my spiritual view, I believe that life is a journey and that each journeyer must die twice and be reborn three times before the Spiritual goal can be achieved. The first 'death' is that of the Fool; the novice who knows not which path or which teacher to follow, and the 'second birth' is that of the Initiate in whom the glow of a Divine Spark has been revealed. This Spark, however, still requires long and careful nurturing before it can grow into a pure, strong flame. Only on the Path of Judgment, as the Initiate nears the end of the journey, is that embodied Spirit likely to be pure enough and strong enough to be exposed to the Divine Fire which is the Governing Element of this Path. At this stage, the Spiritual flame of the Initiate will be subjected to some fierce external assay. Bodily, material qualities, which (like Mother and Father) nurtured the Spirit with Love and shaped it with Reason, will be stripped away so that the timeless, universal, healing powers of a 'Spiritual Child' may be revealed. This is the area where I now believe I am… hence the loss of so much (forcing me to live in my little house in the ghetto as one mean spirited person once said of my townhome ) and the illnesses which battle with me more intensely each day. This belief has now brought me peace... much needed peace.
I believe that the Spirit exists in the body like the hidden power of fire within a coal. This fire may be lit by energies, such as love (which I have known an abundance of), which link it to the Divine Source. And, just as fire creates change within a coal and the coal feeds the fire, so, once touched by Divine energies, the process of change within the embodied Spirit is inevitable. The interdependence between fire and coal is necessary, but the changes which take place are unpredictable, because they depend not only on the purity of the coal but on outside factors, too. My cancer counselor, Cole, at the Ironwood Cancer Research center has helped me connect more closely with my own beliefs which are allowing me to let go of all that has been so negative but which I struggled to hold onto so tightly.
Always, it is the Spiritual energies of the Universe (the higher power) which summon and guide the Divine Spirit within the 'coal' (or 'base matter') of our bodies. But these energies alone cannot ensure the successful outcome of the Spiritual quest. And no individual, unaided, can gain the understanding, wisdom and discrimination necessary for such success. So, the Initiate must seek out whatever remains in our world of the timeless, unchanging energies of the Divine Source. Traditionally, such energies are found in those in whom the Spiritual flame burns with strength and purity - those who have, already, completed the journey successfully enough to have been judged by their peers to be a Master.. Aided by such a teacher, the Initiate is best able to develop the discrimination and balance needed for their own particular journey. Yet, since no two journeys are alike, there are no rules which can be taught, no pattern which can be strictly followed. Every teacher, every individual, even one whose Spirit has been judged most pure, is human and, therefore, fallible. So, in choosing and following a path, a teacher, a religion, the Initiate must trust intuition and must exert constant discrimination and care. The onus, always, is on the questing journeyer to evaluate any teachings in the light of their own circumstances and their own developing knowledge and understanding. Their goal must be to perfect their own Spiritual strength, not simply to borrow or imitate that of others.
As I have been a journeyer, I have been blessed with three great adults who guided me safely to adulthood (Bill, Lucy, Donna), some strong and steadfast friends who have stood by me even as cancer took me down time and time again and I lost so many material things, a wonderful daughter and son in law who had stood by me in difficult times and were there to help me whenever I needed until 7 months ago (Mary is a blessing of untold proportions), … two handsome sons whom I love, a husband who waits for me on the other side… and a good man, Tom, who holds me safely as I walk what we have been told is my final path on this journey (turning the coal within to a precious diamond at last)
May this final part of my journey be a long one… surrounded in the light of the sun… the softness of the moon… the laughter of my granddaughter Jessica whom cruel fate now holds at arms length from me….the strength of the mountains, the ruggedness of my beloved desert and a faith in God that cannot be shaken.
Blessed be
No comments:
Post a Comment