Book Signing Today

I will be at Bookmans, on Country club in Mesa AZ, signing copies of my new book Shadows of Love. Due to health issues, I will not be reading today but will be there to chat and talk about writing and poetry. There will be a few hard bound and soft bound copies of the book for sale as well as a few free give aways etc.

I look forward to seeing you there.

Knee Jerk Reactions create nothing but stress, loss, and pain.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What you do next determines whether you will have a bad day or a good day.

You curse.

You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.

Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60.00 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.

Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?

1. Did the coffee cause it?

2. Did your daughter cause it?

3. Did the policeman cause it?

4. Did you cause it?

The answer is number 4. You caused it.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have happened:

Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt.

Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time." Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.

She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and have time to greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good a day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why?

Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off. Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let this driver ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

You think you have found something on the Internet regarding someone you love and instead of going to the person and having a discussion you become accusatory, angry, and spiteful and close the door on the relationship... only to find out after it is too late how wrong you really were. Why not let it go and approach it with love instead of judgement and anger and creat the stress and loss?

This is the 90-10 principle. Don't let the 10 percent you can't control determine your day and you life. Take control of the 90% and create the day and life you want. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You have the choice.

It CAN change your Life!!!

Holiness and Loss

Many believe that life situations are cyclical and occur over 7 year periods before change begins anew. If this is true, then this has been my season of Loss. It has, sadly also been the season of loss for our Country and for many of my friends and family.

The sad truth is that if we are alive, we cannot escape loss. Loss is a necessary and very real part of life. To paraphrase Mary Stewart (English Novelist), "have you ever thought, when something dreadful happens, a moment ago things were not like this; let it be THEN not NOW, anything but now? And you try and try to remake THEN, but you know you can't. So you try to hold the moment quite still and not let it move on and show itself."

Today, as I sit and wait for a call back from my primary care physician regarding the status of two of the tests now completed, I am feeling the fear of more loss. Today is a tough day.

Today might be tough for you too. You might not want the next moment to show itself, to reveal the twists and turns of life's mystery; I know I sure as hell don't. But, at least you have it. You and I, we still have LIFE. A choice as to how you will live this precious day.

So, let's not wish this Good Friday away. Let's not waste it. For the love of ALL that is Holy, redeem each hour. Hold it close. Cherish it. Above all be grateful for it. Let this thanksgiving rise above the din of disappointment -- the fear of opportunities lost, mistakes made, the clamor of all that has not yet come. Let is rise above fear, loss, anger, and sorrow.

And if today should prove so horrendous that this gift doesn't seem worth acknowledging; if you can't find one moment to enjoy, one simple pleasure to savor, one friend to call, one person to love, one thing to share, one smile to offer... if life is SO difficult you don't want to bother living it to its fullest, the do not live today for yourself...

Live it for those who are no longer here to enjoy the gift. Live it for family who have gone on to their heavenly reward, for the victims of 9/11, for the laughter of children, or the simple sight of a flower blooming in your garden.

God bless my dear readers. Happy Easter.

Making time

Every individual makes a difference. We cannot live through a single day without making an impact on the world around us. And we all have free choice--what sort of difference do we want to make? Do we want to make the world around us a better place? Or not?

~Jane Goodall~


A dear friend of min was completely infatuated with a man. It was all that she could think and talk about. Yet, every time that she asked him out for coffee or lunch or dinner, it was the same reply. He told her that he would love to go out with her, however, his schedule of work, school and other commitments was just too hectic and it wasn't possible.

In her frustration, she came to me and asked me for advice. She wanted to know how she could creatively help him with some of his responsibilities and free up some commitments so that they could spend time together. When she made this suggestion to me, I sighed deeply and bit my lip. I was searching for a tactful way to break the news to her, yet, she had to understand the real truth... and sometimes that hurts.

'Darlin', when he tells you that he doesn't have time. He has time – what he means is that he doesn't have time for YOU. I suggest that you dress in black for a week and pretend like he is dead, because it isn't going to happen.'

My words seemed to have been a kick to straight to the stomach that sucked all the life out of her.. After a few seconds of silence, she raised her head as she came up for air. "Thanks, Bonnie – I needed to hear that", was her submissive and beaten reply to me. After our conversation, she left and I do believe that although she didn't dress in black for a whole week – she did take my advice and move on. I am sure that both she and the man in question are grateful for that. I saw her a few weeks ago and she was smiling and meeting new people...

You see, I have never seen a woman or a man who is head over heels in interest for someone yet, just can't find time to be with that person. If the interest is there – the time will be there.

In life, you often hear the excuse. "I wish I could – spend more time with my family, start my own business, chase a goal, travel, or volunteer… but, I just don't have the time." The reality as I have learned, un learned, and am relearning is You have the time… you are simply spending it somewhere else. You are a human and will make time for what you see as a priority. The question is – are you prioritizing the correct things. What really means the most to you?

The fact of the matter is we all have the exact same amount of time in a day that Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, Copernicus and da Vinci had. We all have the exact same amount of time in a day that Michael Dell, Bill Gates and Donald Trump have. The question is not – Do you have the time? The question is – How are you spending the time that you do have?

For me, it helped by beginning to keep a journal and log the time you spend everyday. I do this still but i would recommend that you do this for at least two weeks. Track the time you spend getting ready for work, in your automobile, at the office, eating out, reading, in entertainment, watching television, surfing the internet or simply doing nothing. You may be surprised at the amount of time that you spend on unproductive or unimportant matters. It is very often shocking at the time each day that we squander and will never get back. Or spent foolishly instead of investing it wisely in those things which are truly most important to us.

In this day and age of fast paced technology, shift work, etc., life can often become so overwhelming that as we get caught up in the rat race – we are not aware of how we are spending our time. It may be time for a time inventory of your life. First begin by journaling what is most important to you in your life. Then track how your time for two weeks. It could be very eye opening.

Remember you have the same amount of time in a day that Einstein, Henry Ford and da Vinci had. The question is – are you using your time as effectively as they did. Therefore, you have no cause to complain for your lack of time, only your management of that time. Time plays no favorites – it will either be its slave or it will be yours. You make time every day for what you value. What do you value?

Given my recent bouts with cancer, and the loss of so many, I truly know what I value and I intend to make time in whatever time I may have left

blessed be

The chain is broken... and so am I.

As I face new tests, new problems, future biopsies and possible surgeries, I am remembering my biopsy for my second bout of breast cancer... back in January of 2007. Long after my Doug had left our world and who so greatly loved my nurturing breasts and hated the idea of me being disfigured. How I remember the fear.. despite Tom's encouraging words. But, I had my two youngest with me... and they saw me through...

Memory of The Biopsy, Jan 9, 2007

We were three of the four Pike's
The remaining members of a family legacy
waiting among a shifting set of others in radiology's store-front lobby--one daughter, one son and a mother linked by blood and laughter in spite of one of life's most threatening moments
remembering embarrassing silly moments of our past.

James loved my last one--my funny last one--he's the performer, the comedienne. Thank god, he's mine, feeding me one-liners.
Together, they make me laugh over family times long gone bye.

The baby of the family, Mary, drove me here
carried my x-rays here, and parked the car. She listened to the intake staff, with the aloof attention like her father
but she is strongly a part of me, my watching self.
As she railed against this ridiculous wait,
and tried to breach the impersonal walls of disinterest in our fate.

My thoughts turned to my missing child
My oldest, Doug.
He was first to nurse from this left breast,
that in a space of time
pressed and prodded,and later slicked with gel will echo sound onto a screen to show the probable malignancy.
so the hollow needle can pierce it

I'm going to lose it--the breast--(both of them actually)
and along with it the cancer, too, I hoped.
(is hope a lie if it does not come true?)The receptionist gave us a hard look when we laughed. But for a few hours, we were a shiny chain linked tightly, silvery with a happiness glinting out even in that waiting place of potential loss and doom.

I fingered the necklace I had bought earlier that fall,
touched the curative dragonfly, murmuring "hope"--I wanted to believe in sudden remission,in some way to avert what we are certainly headed for.

I will always remember my daughter's and my son's fingers laced through mine.

Trying to heal me....

(please know that despite the cancer that now runs through me, Mary and James, you did... You did)

You three children, my Jessie bear, and JC, Zavier and how SHY... gave me purpose... you were my reason.

New doctors, new tests, new concerns and growing old ones now loom ahead of me over the course of the next few months... only this time, due to anger, ignorance, lack of communication... and lack of the memories of strength and giving... I will face these alone.

The chain is broken... and so am I.


"Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence."
~ Henry David Thoreau

Mantra Walks

The Universe is once again handing me out a plateful and additional stress is being piled on faster than I can even attempt to swallow it. From the news that the thyroid (what is left of it) has a mass on it, to the kidneys starting to malfunction, to the cost of gas heading quickly to 4 dollars per gallon (guess we will soon be deciding whether to eat or go to work), to the loss of the love (if I ever really had it which retrospect is slowly making me realize I did not)of my children, to the illness of friends and mother to.... well you get the gist.. something that most of us are dealing with in some fashion almost daily now and it does take the toll on our spirit.

Most of my readers know that I did not get a driver's license until I was 52 and that was via the dedicated help and belief of my daughter Mary, my friend Maggie, and my friend Tom. They helped me achieve a dream that so many had said I would never do and gave me freedom of unimagined proportions. Prior to that, however, I walked where ever I needed to go and it is during the walking.. a mantra walk is what I now call them, where I meditate, breathe, commune with solitude, and regain perspective. I walk.

Whenever I feel anxious (and frighteningly to some this has occurred at sometimes in the early morning hours just after midnight or sometimes late late evenings) I have been known to literally bolt out of the house (or my office) almost as if I were leaving the scene of a crime. Filled with disappointments, painful memories and often unrealistic expectations of my past -- terrified of what my future holds and the changes that are inevitable-- the only safe place for me is in the present moment with my foot to the pavement or desert earth, the wind on my face, the stars or sun lighting my way, my breath entering and leaving my body. I walk.

You see, not being able to drive gave me a precious knowledge that one of my favorite existentialist writers Henry David Thoreau knew so well: "It requires a direct dispensation from Heaven to become a walker". And though it does my body good, I have never walked for exercise, well not the exercise of the body at least. I walk for my soul and my body just happens to tag along. I walk for a myriad of reasons: to solve a creative problem, to finish that argument with myself or someone else, to saunter and wake up the world around me (now aren't you glad I don't come knocking on your door at 3 am?) and to meditate. This is my fitness of spirit. During these walks I quiet the voices in my head, take long strides, and concentrate on the slow steady rhythm of my breath; comforted by the welcoming interior silence.

When walking my desert paths, my reverie might be broken by the sight of a family of quail, a lone bobcat, a coyote, a road runner, or a jack rabbit. It might be broken by the sight of a blossoming cactus or the smell of desert sage. That is when I again recall Thoreau's words as he complained of walking sometime "without getting there in spirit". I so relate to that because there are times when I am traveling the desert that the thought of some poem or story will run in my head and I am no longer where my body is, I am out of my senses. This is where I have learned to train myself to slowly return my awareness to the simple act of walking for it is here, in the present moment, one step at a time, that I find peace.

Walking is pure meditation and I highly recommend you try it..especially now that the beautiful weather is returning. Take into consideration your preference -- are you a morning person, do you prefer a midday walk or, like me are you someone who loves to walk under the stars? Even if you work in the city, you can break at lunch and walk. No one but you needs know that you have shut out the world and are meditating at you walk down the street. Twenty to thirty minutes a day is all it takes to restore a sense of serenity.

Do not, dear reader, expect to experience immediate transcendence or you will be disappointed when it first seems as if nothing is happening at all. Let go of expectations and life will unfold step by step.

The dogs are waiting for their morning meditation and a star filled sky beckons. Won't you join me

"Turning on my heals
I begin a mantra walk
And breathe a prayer
for his dear sake"
Survive the Shadowstalker ©2002

Third Drawing Ending Soon

Shadows of Love will be holding its third drawing for a give away from the on line store at shadowsoflove.com. Head over to shadowsoflove.com, navigate to the contest tab and submit your form today. Good luck and happy reading.

Burnt Offerings

My candle burns at both its ends
It will not last the night
But oh my foes
And oh my friends
It does give a wondrous light. ~ Edna St Vincent Millay

I realized last night, as I lay in bed, the pain from the cancer, the kidney problems and the electrolyte imbalance that has turned my legs against me, that I am totally burned out physically. Worse yet, due to unresolved family issues, missing my granddaughter Jessica more then words can tell, working at a job I hate and pays so little while gas and food prices rise, I am emotionally and spiritually exhausted as well.
I am officially burned out. I am out of balance. I am struggling NOT to give up.

Burn out often begins with illness. I was discussing this exact same fact with the mother of my neighbor the other day as her daughter Karen currently battles illnesses of her own. It can begin with anything from a bout of flu you cannot shake, to shingles, to cancer, and it is generally accompanied by depression . Sometimes burnout can be mistaken for a creative dry spell, particularly if you are in denial which up until last night I think I was.

Last night I realized that I suffer from first degree burn out. Not the kind of burn out that manifests itself simply as a sense of exhaustion at the completion of a project that has taken months or years of challenging intense work . If that were the case then taking a few days off from work to rest and then begin anew at a somewhat slower pace (which I have tried) would be enough to bring about a speedy recovery. No, I have first degree burn out -- the soul snuffer -- which has come from living unbalanced for years when what was supposed to be a temporary situation becomes a lifestyle.

I am burned out. Its burnout when you go to bed exhausted every night and wake up tired every morning because no amount of sleep refreshes you month after weary month. Its burnout when EVERY thing becomes too much effort from simply combing my hair to going out to dinner, visiting friends or even going on vacation (which I have basically refused to do this year). Its burn out when you believe that you will never want to be hugged again under any circumstances or when you find yourself cranky all the time, bursting into tears or (I have not reached this point yet thankfully) going into fits of rage at the slightest provocation.

I am burned out... terrified at the next phone call. Feeling trapped and helpless, unable to experience pleasure, dream, or simply be content. Lately neither big thrills (the publishing of my new book) or little moments (my beloved sunsets) have the power to move me. Since last May, nothing satisfied and I have no clue on how to fix it.

I am burned out and realized last night that there is not one person on this earth who can or really wants to help. I realized what a waste in total my life truly has been and despite trying to leave a positive mark on this world.. I have left nothing.

Burnt offerings
Burned to a crisp
Burned beyond recognition
Burned alive
Burned out.

Trying to set the world on fire, to be there for everyone, to wear your heart on your sleeve definitely comes with risks. Unfortunately we seldom see it until smoke gets in our eyes and creates even more loss and confusion.

My little brother chatted with me a bit last night.. a warm light in an ice crystal coffin... and told me to come there to live and get out of this shit. No can do little brother... my Doug rests and walks here... my Jessie bear is here... this is where my spirit too will abide.

New doctors are entering my life... old ones are leaving or being dispatched. New problems have been found but old ones remain unresolved. It is too much. It is too much.

Daughter, You Are Loved

Daughter, You Are Loved
For Mary Kristene

When the road seems too long
When darkness sets in
When everything turns out wrong
And you can't find a friend
Remember ~ you are loved

When smiles are hard to come by
And you're feeling down
When you spread your wings to fly
And can't get off the ground
Remember ~ you are loved.

When time runs out before you're through
And it's over before you begin
When little things get to you
And you just can't win
Remember ~ you are loved.

When your loved ones are far away
And you are on your own
When you don't know what to say
When you're afraid of being alone
Remember ~ you are loved.

When your sadness comes to an end
And everything is going right
May you think of your family and friends
And keep their love in sight
A thank-you for being loved.

May you see the love around you
In everything you do
And when troubles seem to surround you
May all the love shine through
You are blessed ~ you are loved.

Courage - Fear

I have been re-reading one of my favorite classical pieces of literature written by one of my favorite authors/poets Emily Bronte. Can you guess which of her works, written in her far too short a life span I so enjoy? Yep, Wuthering Heights but then, sadly, it was her only novel which she initially had to write under a masculine pseudonym. Ever since I first picked up her novel at the wise old age of 8, I have been in love with Emily's writings and of those of her sisters Charlotte and Anne. Oft times, in my turbulent teenage years, I felt a close kinship with this talented women.

Emily Bronte has become mythologized both as an individual and as one of the Bronte sisters. She has been cast as Absolute Individual, as Tormented Genius, and as Free Spirit Communing with Nature; the trio of sisters–Charlotte, Emily, and Anne–have been fashioned into Romantic Rebels, as well as Solitary Geniuses. However, although, I love her novel and will probably read it again several times throughout my remaining years, it is her poetry that I cling to and most admire. Her poem "No Coward's Soul is Mine" (also her last poem) it etched permanently in my own heart and sees me through many a difficult time... as fear has often been my constant companion.

No coward soul is mine,
No trembler in the worlds storm-troubled sphere:
I see Heavens glories shine,
And faith shines equal, arming me from fear.


O God within my breast.
Almighty, ever-present Deity!
Life -- that in me has rest,
As I -- Undying Life -- have power in Thee!


Vain are the thousand creeds
That move mens hearts: unutterably vain;
Worthless as withered weeds,
Or idlest froth amid the boundless main,


To waken doubt in one
Holding so fast by Thine infinity;
So surely anchored on
The steadfast Rock of immortality.


With wide-embracing love
Thy Spirit animates eternal years,
Pervades and broods above,
Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates, and rears.


Though earth and man were gone,
And suns and universes ceased to be,
And Thou wert left alone,
Every existence would exist in Thee.


There is not room for Death,
Nor atom that his might could render void:
Thou -- Thou art Being and Breath,
And what Thou art may never be destroyed.

Emily Bronte, as do we all, knew dark moments, but in that darkness she had learned to trust a Power greater than her own and to understand that power would never leave her. This universal Love was so transformative that she wrote to her sister, Charlotte, that "it changes, sustains, dissolves, creates and rears as it leads." This steadfast Love/Faith endowed her with courage and confidence as her singular great novel was rejected by one publisher after another. It saw her through as she was rejected by father, aunt, brother... and finally by life itself.

Life can be quite the adversary can't it? However it is also exciting, exacting, beautiful and wonderfilled and it is in constant change. Love and faith are often times the only constant particularly when days are filled with doubt and fear. Love and faith will transform your life in countless ways. Family and friends may not notice the changes initially or, may in fact, not even like them... however you will know, deep within, that miracles are taking place. Growth and miracles.

Love sustains me and you when passion's path takes unexpected twists and turns. Love will dissolve your fears by creating opportunities you could not have imagined before you began the search to discover and recover your own true self. Then, when doubt, despair, and denial threaten to dismantle your dreams, as it has done to me so often, but particularly over these last 8 months with the loss of my beloved Granddaughter (removed from my life by ignorance),Love still comes to my defense. It is during these moments when I feel most frightened and alone and fragile that I become very still and let Love guide me.

Try it the next time you feel frightened and fragile. Still your mind and become motionless and, if you do, you might feel the tip of an angel's wing brush against your shoulder.

Emily Bronte was so right.. No Coward's Soul Is Mine. Reluctantly but gratefully, I have come to realize that this feeling of fear that has always been my constant companion, is God's way of telling me to ask for grace and Power. So join me as I take a deep breath, seek my quiet center, and push on. One of the hardest lessons I have yet to master is accepting that all fear comes from within however major are the real life's problems assaulting me.

Sometimes, the closer we get to giving our dream to the world, the harder the struggle becomes to bring it forth. I wonder why this is so? Perhaps it is because we know that we will be permanently changed. That life can never return to the way it once was. No wonder I (and your dear reader) asre scared; we wouldn't be sane if we were not.

Oh but how many glorious, exquisite dreams has Heaven mourned because the dreamer, weary, discouraged, despairing, relied only on his or her own strength and could do no more?

Today, as fear once again tries to overwhelm me, I will remember that courage is fear that has said her prayers. Dreams are gifts sent by the Universe to alter us. Trust that this same great Power that gifted you with your dreams, passions, and love will help you make them all come true.

"I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas. They've gone through and through me like wine through water and altered the color of my mind." Amen Emily Bronte. Amen.

New Designs now Available at ShadowsofLove.com

http://www.cafepress.com/ShadowsofLove has brand new designs. Choose from T-shirts, Hoodies, Tank Tops, Messenger Bags, Tote Bags, Doggie shirts, coffee mugs, water bottles, hoodies etc... All designs are the original work the artist. Happy Shopping and Happy reading.

New Prize Winner from Shadowsoflove.com

Good Sunday Morning Everyone... Want to start the day out by announcing a new winner from ShadowsofLove.com... Alejandrina Chavez was pulled this morning from the contest form database... Congratulation Alejandrina of Mesa AZ!!!. The new contest begins today. Make sure you have your contest form in. Go to Shadows of Love.com and submit today. Good luck and happy reading!!!

Our aspirations ARE our possibilities. Follow me... follow me in the dance of shadowplay!

I am a writer... and primarily a poet and in truth, I have been such since the day someone first placed a pencil in my hand. I truly cannot remember a time when, if given space and time, that I did not write and then, when I stop to think, I realize that even when I am not given time, my soul and my subconscious continue to write without my even being present. It is during these times that I find myself feeling a lack and find stress building to almost unbearable proportions. Yesterday was one such day when stress overwhelmed me as the needs of another, health issues, financial issues etc. stole precious time and energy and left me "screaming" inside. Why, I wondered. Why?

Cicely Isabel Fairfield, known to the world as Rebecca West, one of our greatest 20th century women writers, once stated that " it is the soul's duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion." If you research some of the great creative and powerful women of our time, you will find that they found or made time to pursue their creative needs. Isak Dinesen loved arranging flowers. Katherine Hepburn knitted during long stretches on movie sets. Queen Victoria, whom most view as severe, austere, and powerful filled dozens of sketchbooks with delightful watercolors of her children that reveal a true glimpse into who this woman really was when she was not ruling an empire.

Georgia O'Keefe, whose work I have come to appreciate more and more, once quipped "I can't live where I want to... I can't go where I want to... I can't do what I want to. I can't even say what I want to. I decided I was a very stupid fool not to at least pain as I wanted to... that seemed to be the only thing I could do that didn't concern anybody but myself." To this I respond "Oh Yes!!!!" as my soul calls to my mind, calls to pen, calls to paper, calls to words, calls to.... to me. All of us are rather proud of ourselves for having slipped creative work in there between the domestic chores and obligations. However, in retrospect, i am not quite so sure if we deserve such a big gold star for this.

The house still calls to me. Family and friends (thank the Universe) still call to me. My job, unfortunately but gratefully, still calls to me. So too does a poem call to me almost every day. The problem is I am often listening to everybody else and not my own true nature or needs. Sound familiar? Ever wonder why?

Maybe it is because we have convinced ourselves that we really do not have the time for personal pursuits that bring us contentment if it takes more than 15 minutes out of our day? Perhaps we are afraid to acknowledge the promptings of our creative selves who wants to learn to dance, draw, paint, play the guitar, re-upholster a chair or plant a garden? How many of us have gone so far as to take a class, buy a book, a pad and pens, a leotard, a plant, fabric, or a new kind of marinade with that little, nasty internal critic whispering every step of the way..I have to be practical.

We blame our inability (which in effect I have come to understand is an outright refusal) to follow our creative selves on things outside of ourselves. Our missed longings will have to wait until the children are back in school, when Mom's feeling better, when the economy improves. Wrong! Be honest and admit that until you put yourself on that list of priorities and admit that pursuing your dreams is essential to soulful happiness and peace, that you will never truly be complete. Now, notice, that I did not say that you should put yourself first on this list of priorities... just that you should be on that list.

One of my favorite writers, Mary Ann Evans, knew how to be practical about her passion for writing. She once stated that "It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good and we must hunger after them". Oh did Mary Ann hunger and she satiated that hunger by assuming a man's pen name so that her novels would be published in an age that totally discounted the authentic longings of a woman. You may well know some of the novels she wrote..."Silas Marner" and " The Mill on the Floss". Her pen name? George Eliot.

I may never be able to paint like Georgia O'Keefe but I do find splendor in bare bones and desert sands, as well as flowers... but I can and will certainly follow her example, to carve out time for rewarding reveries that acquaint each of us with our creative selves and give us a glimpse of our true journey and path. I know, without a doubt that my writing is my truth North... I will store up reservoirs of calm and content so that later I may draw on them when the source is not there but the need so overwhelming..much like yesterday. I must, as we all must dear reader, learn to satiate my hunger.

Space and time to nurture my creativity is not a silly want. It is an authentic need necessary for my health and well being. Oft times we think that only food, drink, work, sex, shopping, or pills can reduce the gnawing hunger to a dull throb. I know this is not true! But, I do know that if each of us took an hour a day (minimum) to write, plot, paint, garden, throw pots, or to dance, we would not be in pain -- physical or psychic.

Our aspirations ARE our possibilities. Follow me... follow me in the dance of shadowplay!

Second contest ends in two days

Shadows of Love: Two days left before the next drawing for a winner from the Shadowsoflove.com on line store.. Please ensure your entry is in by going to shadowsoflove.com, nagigating to the contest tab and submitting your form today. Browse through the store as new designs are added frequently. We are nearing 1000 sales for the book Shadows of Love. Good luck and Happy Reading.