I Will See You Again...

                                      

http://youtu.be/P7IbQyG9PL4
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61 Years ago  this October 17, the Universe welcomed my soul mate, Douglas James Pike into this world.  I can't help but wonder what he would look like today.  As I watch older couples walk through stores or down a street and see them holding hands... I long for his touch as well and wish we were together again.  Sixteen years ago, God took him home... and I have been so lost without him.

Wishing you a Happy Birthday my love. Wait for me on Brickyard Road... someday we will celebrate it together again... in style


I little knew that morning
That God
Was going to call your name
In life I loved you dearly
... ... In death I do the same
It broke my heart to lose you
But you did not go alone
For parts of me went with you
The day God called you Home
You left me wonderful memories
Your love is still my guide
And though I cannot see you
I feel you constantly at my side.
Our sweet family chain is broken
And nothing seems the same
But as God calls us
One by one
The chain will link again.

You will always be with me... 

IN GOD'S Hands

 

 

As I prepare to face the greatest mountain of my war with cancer on Sept 22, I have been spending more time with my spiritual advisor. We have talked so much over this past  months (more so than in all the previous ones) , as I have taken in old records, old letters, what remains of old journals, new letters, losses, failures, joys, and successes and this, my greatest fear. The past four years probably brought me the most pain and the greatest sense of what I have been (or not been) to so many... I struggled these past years to get people to speak openly, to be direct, to view facts not fiction and to remember not just the bad but the good. I struggled to make them remember how much I love them. I longed for them to love me and to know that there is a definite place between fact and fiction. I still cover truths about my Doug that only I and close friends truly know but that is for everyone's benefit.

I realized that I have struggled to hold on to what was never mine at all. What I have finally learned, in both this battle for sight I face ( on my own by choice) and for love is that it is time for me to let go grounded firmly in reality, grace, and love.

If God has truly set this mountain in front of me than I have let HIM know that I will not climb it and my fight is over.  It is in His hands now and I am letting go... Letting go.

This is what life has taught me about Letting go:

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you,coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said "...they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us." [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person or that you do not love them, care about them or need them. It just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.  I know it's dead and that it is over and I am through with false hope and cruelty

Let me tell you something.. Today, I've finally received the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift I am told, Oh, it's not that you or I am leaving them, I am simply letting go; Father Craig has told me it's about being faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much painful effort, I don't need it.

So today Let go~

Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ....... LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you. LET IT GO!!! (To me anger is a wasted emotion that sucks all the energy out of the room)

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge.....

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction... ..

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs orvtalents

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.... ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him.........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help

themselves.. ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ............

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

'The Battle is God's !'

SUSTAINING BREAD -- WELL MAYBE

 

If only it were so simple,

To cruise through life smelling roses;

But the obstacles blacken the countryside

And we unwittingly crush them beneath our boots.

  

Dreams sustain us as we teeter on the brink of madness

Goals give a finish line to our race

Yet they change with every turn, around every wall

And remain elusive throughout the quest

 

Mistakes are made, and regrets are our baggage.

We will drag them with us to slow us down

The victories are flashes of light, sudden and un-lasting,

A glimpse of the road ahead before darkness descends.

 Love is bitter, yet it is the bread that keeps us

Over and over it fills us up only to stave us

The people whom we love shape our destinies

and our strengths

Yet leaves us cold and alone in the darkness

I guess alone is not such a bad way to be;

It clears your head and focuses you on the journey

The journey that takes you from this life to the next --

I am prepared to walk alone in darkness…

I just want it all to end

For those you love, always will love, for those you must let go and forgive, join me in The Lords Prayer

Our Father, who are in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom

Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this

day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive

those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but

deliver us from evil.

For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever.

Amen.

God bless.


Time for me to let go

And Let God.

And say good bye...

Seventeen Years Ago...

It is the time of need... and bitter blue...

My wonderful husband died when I was 42 years old (He was one month shy of turning 45). Being widowed this young happens to less than 3% of married people.  Sixteen years is a long time and yet there are days when the loss of him rips through me just as sharply as it did that morning.

Dearest Doug,

On September 2, 1998, God took you from me; such a long time ago. It feels different today than it did 16 years ago. I'm not sure how I feel about the distance that has grown between us -- the distance of years, and time, and experience -- my years of living while you have been dead. I only know the feeling of this dark empty void in my soul -- that no one else can fill.

I used to spend so much time wishing you were still living on this earth, still my husband, still a father for our three children, still here to share a certain life we had made together. I wished that what had happened to you and to us had not happened. I was really very afraid. More than I think you understood at the time, but now probably realize as you look down on all of us here.

I am still afraid sometimes, as I am sure you know, but not nearly as much. I also know that I can't live in a wishful state, wishing for something that will never be. I've worked from the very beginning on acceptance. Acceptance has been my mantra so that I could go on living without you. It has not been easy and at times I still spiral down into the depression of your loss and missing you so greatly.

You feel so far away from me. I've had to make too many decisions without you. I've had to go it alone even though you were once my most trusted, most loved partner and friend. I've had to go it alone.

Sometimes I feel sorry for people who are lost and asleep, who don't realize that they need to live without imagining that there is a better, different, more interesting place to be than right here and right now.

Sometimes I am afraid that I can't keep you alive enough Doug. Whatever I can do, it's not enough. You deserve so much more but you got exactly what you didn't deserve. You got to die.

I'm lying. I do wish you were still here. But there is nowhere to go with that wish. Nowhere to go. It's like wishing for my own immortality and believe me I do NOT want immortality.  I look forward to the day when I finally get to be with you again. I look forward to walking down Brickyard Road with you... hand in hand.

I'm sorry that you aren't with me or your children or your grandchildren anymore. I'm sorry that your story had to be a such a tragic one. I'm glad we chose one another from the moment we met. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for giving me your dreams and your pain and for making three amazing children with me.

We didn't finish our story with a satisfactory ending; far from it!  I hated the ending of our story and some of the middle; but the beginning was wonderful.

I will be with you again, one day soon, my beloved.  Until then, I keep trying to do the very best I know how and to fight to stay alive for you.  When I walk the mountains, the desert, or by a running river or stream, you walk with me. 

You will always walk with me. Wait for me, on Brick yard Road.

For those who wear your shadow's face
we ran along the ocean’s edge
to leave behind those latent tales
of Christmases that tried and failed
to catch a glimpse of those remaining shots,
such pain and thievery

we tried, I know we did
and for a bleak pause at sudden recovery,
the moment stopped
we were done
in one broad flash,
worthy of cinematography
full scale
grandiose,
complete with trumpets and a splash of glee

not to last
not meant to be,
and now I travel light
memories weigh not so much,
though I venture near
the time of need and bitter blue

IT DOES NOT SEEM THAT LONG AGO
YOU AND ME WALKING DOWN THAT ROAD
WE SAW THAT GRAY 55 CHEVY SITTING IN THEIR FRONT YARD
AND VALLERY AND JAMES THEY CAME ALONG
THOSE WERE OUR BEST DAYS
BUT THEY ARE GONE

AND IT HAS BEEN
16 YEARS SINCE YOU WENT DOWN
GOD I LOST MY BEST FRIEND NOW
BUT I CAN STILL SEE YOU SITTING ON
THAT OLD DOCK

NOW I KNOW I CANT BRING BACK
OUR YESTERDAYS
BUT LORD CAN'T YOU HELP ME FIND MY WAY

BACK TO BRICKYARD ROAD
I WILL WALK ON DOWN
BACK ON BRICKYARD ROAD
DOUG YOU ARE WITH ME NOW

I SWEAR I SAW OLD FREE BIRD FLY
NOW YOU RIDE THE WINDS OF A
SOUTHWESTERN SKY
AND WHEN I HEAR A TRAIN WHISTLE BLOW
WELL IT CARRIES ME BACK
I WALK ON BRICKYARD ROAD

NOW LOVER DO YOU
REALIZE JUST WHAT YOU DONE?
YOU JUST THE HEARTS BOY
OF EVERYONE
AND THOUGH YOU DIED TO YOUNG
WELL YOUR SOUL IT LIVES ON

AND I KNOW I CAN'T BRING BACK
OUR YESTERDAY
BUT WE WILL BE BACK TOGETHER
AND ON THAT DAY

WE WILL WALK ON BRICK YARD ROAD
OH WALK ON DOWN
WE WILL WALK ON BRICKYARD ROAD
YOU ARE WITH ME NOW

I SWEAR I SAW OLD FREE BIRD FLY
NOW YOU RIDE THE WINDS OF A
SOUTHWESTERN SKY
AND WHEN I HEAR A TRAIN WHISTLE BLOW
WELL IT CARRIES ME BACK
I AM ON BRICKYARD ROAD

NOW DOUGLAS AND JAMES
THEY WILL MAKE IT ALL RIGHT
MARY SHE IS NOT WITH ME ANY MORE AT NIGHT
JESSIE'S ALL GROWN UP
SHE IS SUCH A PRETTY GIRL

BUT NOTHINGS BEEN THE SAME
SINCE YOU LEFT MY WORLD

AND I WANT TO GO BACK
TO BRICKYARD ROAD

DEAR GOD, PLEASE
LET ME GO HOME
TAKE ME TO BRICKYARD ROAD....

(my final post)

This Time God Gave Me A Mountain I Refuse to Climb.... Going Blind.

"Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would be stricken blind. And the same method can be applied to the other senses. Hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, the mighty strains of an orchestra, as if you would be stricken deaf tomorrow. Touch each object as if tomorrow your tactile sense would fail. Smell the perfume of flowers, taste with relish each morsel, as if tomorrow you could never smell and taste again. make the most of every sense; glory in the beauty which the world in all the facets of pleasure reveals to you through the several means of contact which Nature provides. But of all the senses, I am sure that sight is the most delightful.”  


When I was 12 years old, after several years of complaining to my parents that my vision was blurring, I (we) learned that I had suddenly lost the vision in my left eye.  The discovery occurred while I was in a high school study hall and the panic I felt still overwhelms me to this day if I allow it.

My parents immediately took me back to the same eye doctor I had been seeing for years... suddenly they thought it was a congenital birth defect, or toxoplasmosis.  They put me on heavy duty steroids which was no fun for a 12 year old girl... scar tissue shrunk. We thought it was okay.

At 14 the world started to close in as my right eye now began experiencing tunnel vision.  Mom and Dad fought their way into the Boston Retina Foundation.  It was there they performed a test that proved I had a rare blood disease for my area of the country... Histoplasmosis (the bird handlers disease).  I had been taking care of pigeons for years; unknown to any one. The disease affects the brain, the heart, the eyes, or the lungs... in my case it was my eyes.

I am now 58 and have managed being a one eyed bandit for all these years and only recently (about 8 years ago) had to start wearing glasses.   Then three months ago things began to radically change.

Aside from the fact that I continue to battle third stage breast cancer which rears its ugly head in cancer cell being found roaming throughout my body, had thyroid cancer in 2011 (remaining thyroid and parathyroid removed) I also have been battling melanoma 2 in my face .  Three months ago I developed what I thought was a sty.  I had never had one before but had seen them on my mother when I was young and simply applied hot compresses.  There was no discomfort but the sty has NEVER healed.  My eyes  (eye) blurs constantly, burns and I feel as if I have sand in both eyes almost all of the time.  Friday I reached out to my eye doctor.

Not only did she inform me that my prescription (which had just been changed last year) had significantly changed, she also informed me that I had a cataract over the good eye AND that the sty was NOT a sty and appeared to be cancerous... she wanted me to see a specialist. She said I was losing my remaining vision rapidly in a way glasses will not correct over the long hall.  I have the referral sitting here on my desk...  but for this entire labor day weekend, I have not been able to function. The panic I felt when I was 12 is overwhelming me 46 years later.

I have spent these past few mornings watching the sun rise, taken a ride out to the Superstition to just sit and stare at her and cry...  I have spent long evenings on the patio watching the night sky... waiting for Orion to appear to let me know that Doug, my beloved Doug, was watching over me and wishing so much that he could hold me again, just for a few minutes.

I looked at photos of my children and my grandchildren... of the laughter on our faces... the beauty I was able to share with Jessica at the Petrified Forest... at Watapuki...  in Tucson...   

Of photos of my wedding day, my trips to the Grand Canyon, Sedona, Utah... 

I can't imagine not being able to see the beauty God puts in front of me EVERY day...  I can't imagine living in a world like that.  I don't want to.

I don't want to lose the independence I have always fought so hard to maintain despite the health issues, the loss of Doug, the loss of family....  the economy.   I don't want to.

Tom tells me that the results may not be as bad as they are predicting... but I am too afraid now to find out.  I don't want to know. I did not want to see all of those damned doctors back in 2006 that opened the door to all the cancers, the mutilations, the pain...  And, if they do a biopsy and screw it up on my eye, I could go blind even faster!  It's not worth the risk to me.  Where does all this cancer and loss stop?

I battled so many monsters in my life... I have climbed so many trash heaps and hills.  It looks like this time God gave me a mountain... but it is a mountain I now refuse to climb.

I will not allow one more biopsy... I will not even  allow a cataract to be removed (as I am too afraid a mistake would blind me immediately).   It is definite, be it through cancer or the cataract, that blindness is in my future.. .and that is a future I do not want. Tom says "do you want to die?  If it's cancer get it taken care of!"    I know he loves me but " Fuck you Tom"!  No more!

Memories can sustain me in many areas... but not in the beauty of God's world....  so its time I stopped fighting the cancer and surrender to His will.  I don't have any courage left and this time He has asked too much from me.

I doubt I will be blogging much more....  I will continue to work as long as God allows and get the eye glass prescription filled ( a whopping 488.00 just for the damned lenses and then they want me to have prescription sun glasses as well) at the end of the month.  I will make arrangements for my beloved dogs, Ranger and Ruger, for when the times comes that I can no longer care for them...  I have nothing to leave my loved ones... medical problems and helping others has taken everything... 

And I will try to see as much of the daily beauty God puts forward for whatever time He leaves me with now.  It truly is a wonderful world to walk and see.

After Labor Day Weekend... Another Speciaist.

 

I saw the doctor at Grand Canyon Dermatology this past Thursday... this is the clinic that has been treating my Melanoma since the first surgery back in 2007.  I generally work with the PA  Mitch Bogel but once Mitch saw what the major problem was he called in Dr. Howard Donsky.  Dr Donsky also teaches at the Scottsdale Mayo Clinic. he told me that the tumor should be removed. However he also said that due to the fact that the melanoma occurred on the same side of my face (right) that the chances of this being cancerous are high.

However, he also told me that even if it is not cancerous, the removal of the growth will cause some kind of scarring which will decrease my vision and result in a consistent paint/discomfort for the rest of my life. My regular eye doctor said my vision was changed significantly since only 10 months ago.

While there, they found several precancerous cells over my body which were frozen off (removed).  A mole at the corner of my left eye was removed... you guess it... cancer.  Another one was removed from my back...  it came back Friday positive as well.

Tri Care currently is refusing to pay for any treatment of my eyes; my recent eye exam which requires special testing due to the Histoplasmosis and cancers, cost over 200.00 last Thursday. I will try to file myself with them but given the state of our current economy and treatment of our vets, I am not hopeful.  My Dermatologist, due to Tri-Cares rules, can't even give me the required referral to see the eye surgeon so I have to make an appointment with my General Practitioner ( who charges me 60 dollars co pay per visit) to see if she will give me the referral and then have to find someone who accepts tri care to see if Tri Care will pay for them to even look at me. I think if the referral is accepted the Mayo Clinic who treats me for the other cancer related problems will more than likely take me for this as well. The government is definitely proving successful in making health care difficult for people with life threatening illnesses. Still I am getting better treatment than our veterans; at least currently.

I have to come up with an extra 488.00 at months end to pay for the prescription change in my glasses.  I am also supposed to get prescription sun glasses (to reduce the glare from the cataract that is also in the right eye).  Not sure how I will do it but I will.  Just means I won't be able to move as I had hoped.  My kids should be very happy about that... mom gets to stay in the ghetto where she belongs.

I still can't imagine not seeing this beautiful world God has given us... to not see the gorgeous AZ sunrise or the magnificent sunsets, the star filled sky, the majesty of the ever changing Superstition... I have much I want to see over the course of the next year (hopefully two)... before I won't be able to see it any more... or at least not with any clarity but through fog and pain. Things get VERY blurry now but there is still time.

Tom will be returning in Winter ...  he said we need to find someone to take care of the dogs so we can take a trip. That may be easier said than done as I will not board them with strangers.  I know he wants to take me to see Chaco Canyon... I long to see it just once; one of the oldest Indian Ruins and one of the many throughout the world that align with Orions belt).  I also want to see Yosemite, go up to Sedona where I scattered Doug's ashes and walk there with him.  I want to see the Ocean once more.  And the Grand Canyon, Petrified Forest and Wakaputi.... just once more.  I know Scotland will be out of the question but maybe I can manage the rest?  Maybe.

And finish my book. :)  Its about 1/3 the way through.

I am so very tired but know I am in God's hands now. Time slips through my fingers quickly; but I will use what time he has given me to the VERY best of my ability. 

 

Keep me in your prayers... know you are always  in my thoughts and heart. 

Success or Vapid Failure

I  hope that I have taught my children, and others I helped raise, the essence of love. My love for my beloved Doug survives his death almost two decades ago. Just as in the bitter-sweet animated movie “Up”, I too sit in my chair late at night and talk with Doug about my day and my fears. I sit with him on the patio, aching to reach out, hold his hand, and share the quiet of the stars and the chimnea. I always think, at the end of a work day, of how I need to get home to cook, clean, set the table, and prepare a meal for my husband and my family. When I do remember dreams, they are always of him or the children or Jessica. My conversations with my Doug sometimes have centered on a world event, the motions of the stock market, or about the new law that is coming before Congress. (As those who know me well, I have a passion for politics and a strong sense of morality). At other times, I talk to him about  our four grandchildren or other family members. It is my way of digesting the things I have heard and serve the purpose of remaining close to my husband. When I walk the desert, even with Tom or Jessica… Doug also walked with me and the first time I saw the Grand Canyon… over 7 years after he left this earth… on of all days his Birthday… I saw it with him. We had always wanted to go there together. But you know what? We did. He goes every where with me.

  This “eccentric behavior”, is my mysterious window to the unknown, a way of reaching Doug on a daily basis. We know so little of life, why we are here and what we must do while we are here. The ways of life are mysterious, and I would like to remind each of you now reading this blog that we were ONLY soldiers of the Creator, awaiting our next assignment. Nothing for us is permanent and there is no guarantee of tomorrow. Therefore, I will encourage each of you to take some private time and meditate on why you feel you were born and how you can make your best contribution to the world, on a little or big scale. One is not necessarily better than the other.

Although I have never sought fame of any kind, I know I did strive to be the best person I could be and to give my all to my family and friends. Some may say I failed. I guess God will eventually let me know the truth of all of this. Did I really accomplish anything? I hope so. I know I, personally, tried to live my life generously and show my children that we could always give to others, even when we had very little of our own to give. When Doug and I heard of someone in the neighborhood who needed food, clothing, or a place to stay, or just someone to lean on, we would stretch our very slim budget to help them out as well. The house was almost never empty and the table always full.

I did try to give each of my children the most precious gift a mother has to give - unconditional love and her full attention. While they were growing up, despite what their teenage minds may sometimes have told them, they really were the center of my world. My friends and extended family would sometimes tell me that I invested too much of myself in them and, I don’t know, maybe they are right. For hard as I try to let them go today, with each of them now in their 30s… I ache so very much for each of them and just can’t seem to bond closely with others. I did try to make their childhood wonderful. I taught them crafts, and music, and dance. For the boys I ran cub scouts and 4-H and walked them to Karate, and baseball, and basketball. For my girl, I ran 4-H, sewed costumes, and walked her to ballet and karate… I tried to give elaborate birthday parties, until the money ran out, and even sold my belonging to give the best Christmas’s we could give them. We had an open door policy and their friends were always in and out almost any time of day.

We were not rich, but I always felt we were rich in other ways, with the positive, strong family I thought I had created. Again, I guess God will tell me the truth of my endeavors. Was I any kind of a success, or was I a vapid failure?

I think I will end my walk down memory lane with a message to my children, family, friends, and yes, you too dear reader: I love you as high as the sky, as wide as the world, and as deep as the ocean; and I always will. Forgive me, if I did not do the job I so intended and tried to do… but I did it all with love.

The True Danger to America

The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America. Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast Confedereracy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president.

~ Vaclav Klaus (former Premier of the Czech Republic ~ 

A Second Declaration of Independence.

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to assume that their president, hostiles to the principles that formed the nation and determined to act with malice towards its inhabitants by suppressing their rights and enabling its enemies to proper in their attempts to destroy it must be confronted, a rational response for the nation is to encumber itself no more with such a president and reject his authority and the acolytes who carry out his wishes.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, but their gifts are varied, and it is through the voluntary efforts of the fortunate among them to care for the less fortunate, not the province of a government to intrude on the natural imbalances that arise from the human condition, that the sanctity of ethically earned property is not to be compromised by a government eager to impose its will to address such imbalances, that when a president or member of the government flagrantly ignores the restraints of the Constitution of the United States they be punished with expulsion from the government; when the despotism in the form of such behavior arises it is the duty of the people to throw off such government and elect representative who honor the foundational principles that underlie the nation’s existence.

The sufferance of these United States impels action to ensure the existence of the nation. The history of the present president is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good. He has forbidden his minions to be charged with crimes both high and low in order to present an image utterly hostile to the truth; he has endangered the nation both from enemies abroad and who have sworn its destruction by refusing to condemn their governments and in many cases, aiding and abetting them, and those enemies who enter the country defying its laws and intent on defying the laws once ensconced in the nation; he has invaded the sacred privacy of individuals by tolerating the use of government apparatus to spy on them without their knowledge; he has championed the rights of the living to deny the right to life to those about to join their ranks; he has created enmity among the populace, separating one group from another with the use of separatist  language rather than the language of unification, he has endangered those most at risk as they serve their country by destroying the defensive tools intended for the protection of the nation; he has supported the destruction of the free use of faith that is the pillar of Western civilization; he has appropriated the power granted to other branches of government in order to further ends that cannot be legislated because there is legitimate opposition to them; he has willfully ignored the future financial demise of the nation while indulging in spending doomed to ensure the demise is a certainty.

We have warned of our grievances, though a culpable media apparatus has denied us the right to be legitimately heard; we have tolerated the abuse of our citizens by those who reside in our nation but do not share its founding principles; we have trusted in the process through which the nation has traditionally resolved its difference; we have watched as those who do not share American values usurp the rights of legislators to make the law by invoking a willing judiciary to circumvent such legislators.

We, therefore, the people of the United States of America, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do swear, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these States, that we are independent of said president and his minions, that we resolve not to eschew the rule of law and remove such persons from power by force, but rather to uncompromisingly and unstintingly work without hesitation to replace them now and forevermore by voting them out of power, and continually voting them out of power until their values are seen for the enemy of our principles that they truly are. We have sworn our fealty to our Constitution, and its eternal continuance, and may the supreme Judge of the world strengthen us in the battle for the soul of the nation that lies ahead.

Stupid Is as Stupid Does: A Case FOR Profiling

LEST WE FORGET:

This is all factually (and historically) correct - and verifiable if one should decide to do some research toward that end.
 

In 732 AD the Muslim Army which was moving on Paris was defeated and turned back at Tours, France, by Charles Martell.In 1571 AD the Muslim Army/ Navy was defeated by the Italians and Austrians as they tried to cross the Mediterranean
 to attack southern Europe in the Battle of Lepanto.In 1683 AD the Turkish Muslim Army, attacking Eastern Europe, was finally defeated in the Battle of Vienna by
 German and Polish Christian Armies.This crap has been going on for 1,400 years and half of our elected politicians don't even know it !!!  If these battles had not been won we might be speaking Arabic and Christianity could be non - existent;

 Judaism certainly would be... And let us not forget that Hitler was an admirer of Islam and that the Mufti of Jerusalem was Hitler's guest in Berlin and raised Bosnian Muslim SS Divisions: the 13th and 21st Waffen SS Divisions who killed  Jews, Russians, Gypsies, and any other "sub humans".

 Reflecting:

 A lot of Americans have become so insulated from reality that they imagine that America can suffer defeat without any inconvenience to themselves.

 Pause a moment, reflect back. These events are actual events from history. They really happened!!!

Do you remember?

1. In 1968, Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by a Muslim male.

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by Muslim males.

3. In 1972 a Pan Am 747 was hijacked and eventually diverted to Cairo where a fuse was lit on final approach, it was blown up shortly after landing by Muslim males.
4. In 1973 a Pan Am 707 was destroyed in Rome, with 33 people killed, when it was attacked with grenades by Muslim males.

5. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by Muslim males.

6. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by Muslim males.

7. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by Muslim males.

8. In 1985, the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by Muslim males.

9. In 1985, TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens , and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by Muslim males.

10. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by Muslim males.

11. In 1993 , the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by Muslim males.

12. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by Muslim males.

13. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take down the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by Muslim males.

14. In 2002, the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against Muslim males.

15. In 2002, reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and beheaded by---you guessed it was a--- Muslim male.

16. In 2013, Boston Marathon Bombing 4 Innocent people including a child killed, 264 injured by Muslim males.

No, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you?

So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people.

Absolutely No Profiling!

They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old, Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males, alone lest they be guilty of profiling.

Have the American people completely lost their Minds, or just their Power of Reason???

Please share this with as many people as you can so that the Gloria Aldreds and other stupid attorneys along with Federal Justices, the imposter POTUS Obama, John Kerry, Hilary Clinton and the rest of their ilk that want to thwart common sense, feel ashamed of themselves -- if they have any such sense.

As the writer of the award winning story 'Forrest Gump' so aptly put it, 'Stupid Is As Stupid Does'.

We would have been married 40 years today.

The Widows 40^th Anniversary

My skin,
starved for intimacy.
His hands:
so masculine,
and yet
so careful.
His chest:
burying my nose
in the hirsute warmth.
His lips:
a perfect, full, soft pink pout.

My soul,
hungry for a connection.
His eyes:
sweetly seductive hazel,
contained a knowledge of me
that I will never see again.
My brain:
an encyclopedic library
of our memories together.
His heart:
pumping our blood, life and love
throughout his body.  No more…

Now, decay:
The vessel returns
to dust.
Does the soul live on?
My legs, worn.
My feet, tired.
Looking and looking
for a sign
that part of him
is still out there
somewhere.

The heavens have been weeping
since the death of my beloved,
crying the tears I cannot cry.

A drop for every life he touched,
a drop for every sorrow I bore.

The wind’s rage measures his very time,
but nothing can halt what is gone,
what is done,
what was foretold.

The sun will come,
will warm my heart,
will make me smile.

Always I will look for the rain
to bring me back to this time,
beside him,
to weep for us.

Sleep is
my lover now

Sleep takes me to him.

As She Turns Sweet Sixteen on Sunday August 10, 2014

My Dearest Granddaughter

As you turn sixteen today, I know the Universe has special plans for you and I look forward to seeing how they will unfold. Remember to keep focused on the positive and good things in life and remember what is truly Important.

Sadly I have not been allowed to be around to dispense my grandmotherly advice for several years now, so I jotted down a few thoughts that might be worth remembering one day; even after I am gone. There is nothing new here. You have heard it all before. But maybe it will be helpful to have this collection of aphorisms all in one place. Happy sixteenth birthday my shining star!

Improve your vocabulary. Don't be afraid to learn new words, like "aphorism." Share your skittles. Bathe daily. Wash your hair at least 3 times a week. Brush your teeth after every meal. Floss. Respect your elders. Be kind to those less fortunate than you. Turn off lights. It's good practice for the time that is coming when you will pay your own bills. Use sunscreen(cancer runs high in our family). Write letters – real letters and not just emails or instant messages. Don't forget to send thank-you notes.

Be a good friend. If you have a good friend, consider yourself rich. Don't love money. Don't love things and use people to get them like so many I have known do. Love people and use things to show them. Study hard. Take vacations. Laugh. Marry someone who will help you do so.

Read something positive daily. Meditate on truth. Memorize it. Pray. Keep a journal. Say “I’m sorry” when you have done a wrong. Believe in forgiveness. Forgive. Think of something good EVERY Day. Remember heaven does exist.

Take risks, but only for the right reaons. Live dangerously while using common sense. Hope big; always be willing to take that leap of faith. Never compromise convictions. Never demand that others accept your mere opinions. Be sure what you believe. Be respectful toward authority. Evaluate what you are taught in the light of what is right and wrong. Remember to first do no harm.

Never underestimate the value of faith. Organize your life around its life. Help other people. Let other people help you. Listen more than you talk.

Don't underestimate the power of encouragement. It is easy to give and it goes a long way. Give away money. Not necessarily all of it but enough of it to remind yourself of how unimportant it is. Make eternal investments and by that I mean to invest in your own soul.

Never jump out of a tree unless you know where you are going to land but don’t be afraid to climb that tree. Do not doubt in the dark when those who love you taught you in the light. Sing. Dance; especially with your children.

Read good books, the kind that will make you a better person. Make them your friends. Especially read biographies. Teach your children to love reading.

Finally, impress on your children early in their lives the importance of visiting their grandparents regularly!  Grandparents need their grandchildren as much as their grandchildren need them, believe me… I know

This special time comes only once; turning Sweet Sixteen. Loving memories of yesterday; now a young lady now can be seen.
But in the eyes of your biggest fan (your Mom-mom), you are still a little girl
And time can't erase those wonder years; but the years have now made our little treasure into a precious pearl.

You are forever my treasure my Jessie bear.

So on this your special day, Mom-mom just wants to say Happy Birthday to you, my beautiful treasure, my  24^th wedding anniversary gift. And I wish you so with many more to come because you are wonderful.
I will love you till the stars fall from the sky.

Happy sweet 16 Jessica Marie  August 10, 2014