As I prepare to face the greatest mountain of my war with cancer on Sept 22, I have been spending more time with my spiritual advisor. We have talked so much over this past months (more so than in all the previous ones) , as I have taken in old records, old letters, what remains of old journals, new letters, losses, failures, joys, and successes and this, my greatest fear. The past four years probably brought me the most pain and the greatest sense of what I have been (or not been) to so many... I struggled these past years to get people to speak openly, to be direct, to view facts not fiction and to remember not just the bad but the good. I struggled to make them remember how much I love them. I longed for them to love me and to know that there is a definite place between fact and fiction. I still cover truths about my Doug that only I and close friends truly know but that is for everyone's benefit.
I realized that I have struggled to hold on to what was never mine at all. What I have finally learned, in both this battle for sight I face ( on my own by choice) and for love is that it is time for me to let go grounded firmly in reality, grace, and love.
If God has truly set this mountain in front of me than I have let HIM know that I will not climb it and my fight is over. It is in His hands now and I am letting go... Letting go.
This is what life has taught me about Letting go:
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you:
let them walk.. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you,coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The Bible said "...they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us." [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person or that you do not love them, care about them or need them. It just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. I know it's dead and that it is over and I am through with false hope and cruelty
Let me tell you something.. Today, I've finally received the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift I am told, Oh, it's not that you or I am leaving them, I am simply letting go; Father Craig has told me it's about being faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much painful effort,
I don't need it.
So today Let go~
Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ....... LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you. LET IT GO!!! (To me anger is a wasted emotion that sucks all the energy out of the room)
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction... ..
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs orvtalents
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.... ....
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him.........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. ....
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves.. ....
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed ............
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
'The Battle is God's !'
SUSTAINING
BREAD -- WELL MAYBE
If
only it were so simple,
To
cruise through life smelling roses;
But
the obstacles blacken the countryside
And
we unwittingly crush them beneath our boots.
Dreams
sustain us as we teeter on the brink of madness
Goals
give a finish line to our race
Yet
they change with every turn, around every wall
And
remain elusive throughout the quest
Mistakes
are made, and regrets are our baggage.
We
will drag them with us to slow us down
The
victories are flashes of light, sudden and un-lasting,
A
glimpse of the road ahead before darkness descends.
Love
is bitter, yet it is the bread that keeps us
Over
and over it fills us up only to stave us
The
people whom we love shape our destinies
and
our strengths
Yet
leaves us cold and alone in the darkness
I
guess alone is not such a bad way to be;
It
clears your head and focuses you on the journey
The
journey that takes you from this life to the next --
I am
prepared to walk alone in darkness…
I just want it all to end
For those you love, always will love, for those you must let go and forgive, join me in The Lords Prayer
Our Father, who are in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom
Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this
day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive
those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but
deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever.
Amen.
God bless.
Time for me to let go
And Let God.
And say good bye...
