When in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your
tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "Enough!"
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And like a child
quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you
shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and though a mantle of
wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is
your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for
something to change or for happiness and security to come galloping over
the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that none of them are
Prince Charming or Cinderella and neither are you and that in the real
world, there aren't always a fairytale endings (or beginnings for that
matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with
you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not
everyone will always love you, appreciate or approve of who you or what
you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and
opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing
yourself and in the process, a sense of newfound confidence is born of
self-approval.
You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they
did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you
can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't
always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone
will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So you
learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the
process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept
people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human
frailties and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born
of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself and
the world around you is a result of all the messages and opinions that
have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all
the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should
look and how much you should weigh and what you should wear and where
you should shop and what kind of car you should drive and how and where
you should live and what you should do for a living, with whom you
should sleep, who you should marry and what you should expect of a
marriage, or the importance of having and raising children.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of
views. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are; what you
really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or
should never have been taught to begin with and, in the process, you
learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving
that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and
contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a
"consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as
honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but
the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build
a life. You learn that you don't know everything and it's not your job
to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to
distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of
setting boundaries and learning to say "NO". You learn that the only
cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned
at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love.
How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to
walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a
relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more
intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man or woman on
your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at
relationships as they really are and not as you would have them to be.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn
that just as people grow and change, so it is with love ... and you
learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms just to
make you happy. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you
look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never
be a perfect size with an ideal waist and you stop trying to compete
with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."
You learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin
to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced
diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn
that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So
you take more time to rest. And just as food fuels the body, laughter
fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that for the most part, in life, you get what you believe you
deserve...and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You
learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making
it happen.
More importantly you learn that in order to achieve success, you need
direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can
do it all alone and that it's OK to ask for help.
You learn that the only fear that you must truly fear is the great
robber baron of all time ... FEAR itself. You learn to step right into
and through your fears because you know that whatever happens, you can
handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life
on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander
it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't
always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that
sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting good people. On these
occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that the
Universe isn't always punishing you or failing to answer your prayers.
It is just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You
learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be
understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and
poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are
wrong and to build ridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple
things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the face
of this earth can only dream about ... a full refrigerator, clean
running water, a comfy bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself ad you
to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever
settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime
outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make a point
to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful
possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and with Spirit by
your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to
design the life you want to live as best as you can.
blessed be
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